WHO or why or which or what IS THIS WILLIAM SUTTON?

I’ve just spent two years in the south of Italy, teaching English, writing for magazines and singing at the local ice cream shop. I also lived in São Paulo, Brazil, where I sang in pubs and played cricket. Before that I spent seven years in London.

Drawing courtesy of Sam Marot, an excellent artist if not the most attentive Latin pupil

I returned to Britain in June 2006, and I've now moved from Scotland to Surrey. It's nice to be back.

I am working on:
- a novel which sends Campbell Lawless to the Geneva Convention where he becomes reluctantly embroiled in the fight for Italian Unification
- a novel about a man whose life changes due to an incident on the M6
- a radio play, Bossa Nova Faust, with storms, violence and ukuleles
- a one man show, Songs I Sing in Languages I Don’t Speak
- articles about the Future of English (the language, not the people)
- article about the Future: digital minds and networked noddles.

EARLY DAYS

I was born in Stirling, Scotland, in 1970. I appeared in Babes in the Wood aged nine, learned blues harmonica from my Latin teacher, and drove to California in a Volkswagen beetle.

School band: I played rock piano, while Dallas (in the overcoat) Morrisseyed it up and Graham played bass

Despite writing plays and stories, I got a creditable degree. I started singing in pubs and writing plays in Edinburgh, unable to decide if I wanted to be Tom Waits or Tom Stoppard. I moved to London to study acting with the renowned clown, Philippe Gaulier, and won two radio play competitions for LBC Radio. This was the beginning of my woes.

SCRAPING BY

Having award-winning plays produced and broadcast does not lead to the instant fame and riches one might hope, and over the years, I have tried my hand at a variety of things.
I’ve acted in the longest play in the world, The Warp (around 24 hours). I've played guitar for the inimitable Philip Jeays from Vancouver to Edinburgh, and from the Borderline to the 100 Club. I've driven actors on a movie, Hard Men, including the gangster, "Mad" Frankie Fraser.

I've translated Latin letters and treatises, mostly about maps and sex. I've taught Greek, mythology, piano and guitar. Actually there weren't many subjects I didn't teach. I even taught Geography, which I gave up aged 13, and Spanish, which I don't speak (Sorry about that, Luke, but it was your mother's idea). I tutored the Sugababes (in GCSE English, not Latin. To my disappointment, they turned sixteen and never took the exam, but I did teach one of them to play Leo Sayer's When I Need Love on piano).

I travelled a bit, fetched up in Brazil, and had the idea for The Worms one dark windy night in June, 2002. During the tortuous process of writing the bugger and getting it published, I've also been scribbling articles for magazines in South America and Europe about sponges, weird musicians and bad English.